• they stop being responsible for the work
• they are responsible for the people that are responsible for the work

• Empathy
• Perspective

• asking someone how they're doing and be interested in the answer (instead of rushing to a meeting)
• letting someone in front of you in traffic
• "I noticed that your numbers are down for a third quarter in a row. I'm worried about you. Are you okay?" (instead of threats)

1. Parenting
2. Technology
3. Impatience
4. Environment

• Participation medals devalue winning and shame losing
• School grades/honour-programs because parents complain instead of working for it
• Millennials learn
• They are special
• They can have anything they want, just because they want it
• They get medals for coming in last
• Their parents will complain to schools, getting them grades and opportunities without working for it
• When they start working they learn that all those beliefs are wrong
• You are not special
• You don't get anything just because you want it
• You get nothing for coming in last
• Your parents can't help you get a promotion
• This causes their self esteem to shatter
• They have lower self esteem than other generations

We say "our door is always open" 
assuming they have the courage
to walk through the door

• cross off todo
• win game
• get promotion
• find your keys

When we're very very young, the only approval we need is approval from our parents.
And then as we go through adolescence, we now crave the approval of our peers.
It allows us to acculturate outside of our immediate family into the larger tribe.
It's a time of high stress and high anxiety.
And we're supposed to learn to rely on our friends.

• Youths should loosen from family into the larger tribe
• Youths should learn to cope with stress by leaning on friends

• Dopamine numbs stress
• Alcohol, nicotine, gambling trigger dopamine
• Instead of friends, addicts learn to numb the stress with their addiction
• That addiction becomes hardwired in the brain for coping with stress
• Coping by addiction resurfaces in times of elevated stress

The "bing, buzz, flash and beep" that we get from our phones.
That feels so good.
Yes we all hate the emails, but we love the "bing"

• Alcohol, nicotine, gambling have age restrictions
• Social media and cellphones have no age restrictions

It's the equivalent of throwing open the liquor cabinet.
And telling our young adolescents:
"I know this is a stressful time,
try the vodka it will get you through these hard times"

Our young generation isn't learning the coping skills
to turn to another human being when they are struggling or stressed
They are turning to social media and cellphones

• depression
• suicide
• accidental death due to drug overdose
• kids asking leaves of absence from universities

often accused of being "entitled"
but I would argue that they are impatient

• Shopping online, next day delivery
• Movies: download, stream
• TV show: binge
• Talk to someone: text and they'll get back instantly
• Date: swipe right, have 4 dates in a night

It's as if they are standing at the foot of a mountain
They know exactly what they want
They can see the summit
What they don't see is the mountain

• impact as destination instead of journey
• don't know what that means "impact"
• we all want to make an impact
• what kind of impact
• what do you want to do
• how do you want to contribute to the world
• "this is what vision is, this is what why is"
• it's become generic and abstract

Corporate environments that do not care about them as human beings

Our work world has changed over the past 20 to 30 years
We are suffering the side effects of business theories left over from the 80's and 90's
And they are bad for people
And they are bad for business

• theory proposed in late 1970's, popularised in 80's and 90's, now standard form
• any public company's priority "maximise shareholder value"

• using someone's livelihood to balance the books

You know the quickest way to destroy trust, destroy cooperation, literally in one day?
Lay people off.
And everyone get's scared.

• even people who kept their jobs

Every single decision a company makes is a piece of communication.


And the company has just communicated to everybody else:
"this is not a meritocracy"
"we don't care how hard you work or how long you've worked here"
"if we miss our numbers and you happen to fall on the wrong side of the spreadsheet, I'm sorry we cannot guarantee employment"


In other words, we come to work every day, afraid...

Vulnerability means to create an environment in which someone feels safe enough to say:
- I don't know what I'm doing
- You've given me a job and I haven't been trained to do it
- I need help
- I made a mistake
- I screwed up
- I'm scared
- I'm worried

How can a company ever do well if nobody's ever willing to admit they made a mistake, they're scared or they don't know what they're doing.

We've created cultures in which every single day everybody comes to work and lies, hides and fakes.

How do I get the most out of my people
vs
How do I help my people be at their natural best

• Known players
• Fixed rules
• Agreed upon objective

• Known and unknown players
• Rules are changeable
• Objective is to keep the game in play
• no winners and losers
• player drops out when will or resources run out
• there is no winning because there is no end

• Finite + finite (eg. baseball)
• Infinite + infinite (eg. cold war)

• finite + infinite (eg. Vietnam war, Soviet Union in Afghanistan)

• "we're trying to beat the competition"
• "we're trying to be number one"
• "we're ranked number one"

It's the leaders and the companies 
 that understand the game they are in
 and organise their resources and their decision-making
 around the infinite contest,
 that outlast and frustrate their competition

• eg. Southwest Airlines, Apple Computers, Harley Davidson

Public companies are looking to succeed for the quarter.
We're looking for the next 50 years.
-- Jim Senegal (Founder of Costco)
// only real company that gives Wallmart a run for it's money

The infinite player isn't playing to be number one every day with every product.
They are playing to outlast the competition.

They understand that 
sometimes you're a little bit ahead and sometimes you're a little bit behind
sometimes your product is better and somtimes you're not
But if you wake up every morning and compete against yourself:
- How do I make our products better than they were yesterday?
- How do I take care for our customers better than we did yesterday?
- How do we advance our cause more efficiently, more productively than we did yesterday?
- How do we find new solutions to advance our calling, our purpose, our belief, our why, every single day